Food War
by CoffeeLovingOtaku
Summary: A offhand comment by America causes a full-out food war between the nations. Who will win? Rated T because I'm paranoid. OC Mexico.
1. Chapter 1

I have no idea what compelled me to write this. I'm not a writer, but my Internet shut down for a week, and I had nothing to do. So I ended up writing this little story with my OC Mexico~.

There's not really any pairings /shot.

**Axis Powers: Hetalia does not belong to me~!**

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"No." Mexico said bluntly. "I'm not going to do that."

"Come _on_!" whined America. "I promise I won't take pictures!"

"Don't make promises you won't keep, wey," Mexico said in a annoyed voice.

"I will keep this promise!"

"You won't. I've known you for years," Mexico rolled her eyes.

"Aww," America clearly was about to say something else, but before he got the chance, the almost-invisible form of Canada slid into the empty Conference Room.

"Ah," mused Mexico, glancing at Canada. Unlike most of the other nations, she could see Canada and rarely mistook his for America. That didn't mean she was 'best friends forever', though. "Hola, Canada."

"Bonjour, Mexico," Canada whispered, standing behind America, clinging onto his polar bear.

"Whaa!" gasped America, realizing that Canada was behind him. "Canada, bro, where did you come from? I didn't see you there!"

"...I just came in a few seconds ago," Canada said in his quiet voice.

"I didn't hear you come in! You're like a ninja!" America grinned a toothy grin, and a hamburger appeared out of nowhere. "A Canadian ninja!"

"I'm not-" Canada began, but America almost at once cut him off.

"Yo, Mexico, did'ya know that hamburgers are totally better than your tacos?"

"_What_ did you say, gringo?" said Mexico angrily. She glared at him, and Canada shivered internally.

"That hamburgers are better than tacos!" America said cheerfully.

"America, don't-" Canada began, but once again was ignored.

"Hasta crez! Nothing is better than tacos!" Mexico lifted up her chin and glared at her neighbor.

"Neeews flaash!" America waved his hamburger around in the air. "Hamburgers are wayyy better than tacos, no competition."

As Mexico readied herself for another retort, Canada decided to disappear. This was not going to end well at all.

As soon as Canada disappeared, Mexico and America engaged in a full 'which food is the best' fight.

"Tacos!"

"Hamburgers!"

"Tacos for the win! Hamburgers are for fat Americans!"

"Americans aren't fat! Tacos are for fat Mexicans! Hamburgers for the win!"

These steadily more offensive insults continued for a bit more, and then England decided to slip into the Conference Room.

"...What the bloody hell are you two fighting about...?" He muttered, staring with disbelief as America and Mexico continued their childish bickering.

"Well, you see Iggy, Mexico won't accept that hamburgers are way better than tacos!" America yelled gleefully.

"What the...! Inglaterra, tell America that tacos are better than hamburgers!" Mexico yelled out angrily.

"Well," England said, staring as the two nations gave him pleading looks. "I won't take sides, because scones and tea are _way_ better than tacos and hamburgers."

"Ehhh!?" both America and Mexico stared at England. "NO WAY! Your scones poison people!"

"My scones do _not_ poison people!" said England hotly.

"Iggy!" whined America. "That's a lie!"

"Wait, England's right," said Mexico suddenly. "It's not just his scones that poison people. It's his cooking in general."

America burst out laughing at the same moment that England's entire face turned red with anger.

"You bloody-" England began, but he broke off as a loud _ohonhon_ sounded from the outside of the door. "Bloody hell, not the frog..."

And then France slipped into the room. "_Ohonhon_~! America and that idiotic England! What are the three of you doing here so alone with little Mexico~?"

"What the-" said both America and England, and Mexico's mouth fell open as she too got the hidden message in France's sentence.

"Dos cosas, premero, I'm not little, segundo, you're a pervert!" Mexico yelped.

France gripped his chest as though Mexico's words had hurt him. "A pervert, mon ami, why, I was just trying to protect you from that caterpiller-browed England and America! Who knows what things they had in store for you!"

"WE HAD NOTHING IN STORE FOR HER!" yelled out England and America at the same time. However, France wasn't paying any attention, walking around the room with his hands in the air, angsting over what 'that terrible Caterpiller-Brows and America' had planned for her. It was obvious that he was enjoying himself.

"Er," muttered Mexico as France's words took a dangerously perverted and... kinky... turn. "What are iyou/i doing in here?"

"I was looking for mon amour, Canada!" said France cheerfully.

"Your what now?" said America, surprised. "Canada has a lover? Wow! I, like, totally gotta go and congratulate him! Be right back, guys!" And he rushed out of the room without another word, ignoring Mexico and England who were saying that that wasn't what France had meant.

"...Idiota," muttered Mexico, staring after America. Then she paused, and looked up at France. "You and Canada aren't _really_ together, are you?"

"Non, non! Mon Canada doesn't want to, even if I have asked him over and over~!" France winked at her, and suddenly grabbed her hands. "However, mon ami, I haven't asked _you_ yet, have I? How rude of me! So, Mexico, will you-"

Before France could finish his sentence, England decided to react and bonked France over the head with his fist.

"Don't try that, you bloody frog," growled England.

France let go of Mexico and rubbed his head where England had hit him. "Inglaterre! Must you have hit me?"

"Yes," said England bluntly.

Mexico was left completely confused (because of France), and stared at him. "...You actually asked Canada to be with you?"

"Yes, he did," said England. "Almost as soon as Canada became an official coun-" he broke off, as though something annoyed him.

"-try," ended France, smiling again. "But, dear Mexico, wouldn't Spain like me to take care of his little sister?"

Mexico's eye twitched. "Spain is not my brother."

"Father?" guessed France randomly.

"No."

"...Cousin?"

"No."

"Uncle?"

"_No_."

"Ah! I got it! He's your grandfather!"

Mexico's eye twitched at this, and she fought back the urge to bonk France over the head as England had done. "Again, no. Spain is not related to me whatsoever."

"So that means it wouldn't be incest!" France announced, and whirled around, heading for the door. "You two can be together without sin! I shall go and tell-"

"No, you are not," Mexico grabbed France's ear before he could reach the door. "You are not telling Spain of this conversation at all."

"Not telling me what conversation?" questioned a cheerful Spanish voice, and Mexico's former caretaker walked into the room, closely followed by South Italy, or Romano. "Are you keeping a secret from me? Eso no es bueno! I thought we were siblings!"

"Well, this day just gets better and better," Mexico muttered underneath her breathe, and fought back the urge to drive her head into the wall at the mention of 'siblings' again. England cast her a sympathetic look.

"Tomato-bastard," muttered Romano grumpily. "Mexico is technically not your-"

"No, no! Romano, you are so silly!" Spain grinned and hugged Romano, who immediately turned bright red and tried to squirm away, continually snarling "Tomato-bastard! Let me go!"

Mexico then decided to ignore those two (not that it mattered, really. They were too busy in their own world.) and turned back around to France and England, who were now in a complete fist fight over something.

Her eye twitched, and Mexico wondered for the first time that day how she'd ended up in the middle of all of this. Oh, yeah, that's right. That stupid gringo had said hamburgers were better than tacos, and Mexico remembered that the Food War wasn't over quite yet.

She glanced around at Spain, Romano, England, and France, and then decided to do a Canada and slip out before she was forced back into the conversation again.

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...Er, the end...?

Nah, this story's not finished yet xD Who knew I would make a chapter story?

...Also, this is barely my second story, so please bear with me xD

Please leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

This is late, and it's not even long xD

I sort of lost inspiration for this story ono; Can you guys help me out for later chapters?

**Hetalia does not belong to me.**

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"Come on, Canada. I know you know where America is," Mexico said, staring at the the gringo's brother. "You two are _hermanos_, and I doubt you don't know."

"Alfred's probably with Japan. Or South Korea. Or England. I don't really know what my brother's up to," whispered Canada, returning Mexico's stare with his light violet eyes. They were in Canada's house; Mexico had decided to come over for a visit.

Mexico sighed in annoyance. "That idiot... He still needs to admit tacos are better than hamburgers."

"Can't you two just leave it?" Canada asked. "Some people like different foods than others; it's quite common, you know. For example, I like pancakes with maple syrup more than any other type of food."

Mexico found herself staring at Canada as though he was crazy. "...Huh? Sorry, _hermano_, I think I misunderstood you. What did you say?"

The Canadian nation slouched slightly. "...Never mind, Mexico." Canada knew that Mexico would probably begin to argue with him about the food, too, if he said anything more about pancakes.

And at that moment, Canada decided to pretend to not see or hear Mexico like they did to him. He sat down on a nearby chair, and crossed his legs, Kumajiro on his lap. The white bear looked sleepy.

Mexico blinked at Canada, then she frowned. She'd noticed his sudden change in position, though she didn't really know the reason. "Where would America most likely be at, though? Since he is Japan's best friend, and is good friends with South Korea, plus he loves to annoy England..."

Canada stayed quiet, and the Mexican nation walked over to him and poked his forehead. Nothing.

She frowned, and prodded him again, this time on his cheek. Nothing. Slightly incredulous, she poked his nose.

Nothing.

Muttering, she grabbed his curl and pulled on it - hard.

Canada was clearly taken by surprise, and he spluttered in response to his curl being yanked, his face turning red. "N-non!"

"Ja!" said Mexico triumphantly. "You talked!"

Canada rubbed the bridge of his nose, still blushing. "That was uncalled for!"

"You were ignoring me. It was totally called for!" Mexico announced, sounding slightly like America in her annoyance. Canada noticed.

"You sounded like America just now, Mexico," he said, raising his blonde eyebrows.

"Que?" Mexico said, taken aback. "No, I didn't."

"Oui, you did." Canada's eyes flashed with amusement as Mexico fiercely shook her head.

"No."

"Oui! You did!" He grinned, clearly getting into a teasing mood. Unfortunately, at that moment, Kumajiro decided to question his master.

"Who're you?"

And, those two words doused Canada's brotherly spirit at once. "I'm Canada, your owner." He sighed, and leaned back on his seat. And he added to Mexico. "I would look for America at Japan or South Korea's house, if I were you."

Mexico blinked at the other nation, and decided to slip out of the room.

_I'll check with Japan first, to see if America's there._ She decided.

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Like I mentioned before, I lost inspiration ono

Please leave reviews and suggest ideas for the later chapters!

Thanks for reading, by the way ^^


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